So you’re out on a date with a guy you’re interested in. Over dinner, you had fun having great conversations, sharing your hobbies and enjoying the delicious meal. But now the check comes. Who should pay it?
Traditionally, many people will answer this saying “it’s been men who should take that responsibility”. Some would say “you should split the bill”, while other women will tell you it’s totally okay if they will pay the bill.
Back then, servers routinely put the bill in front of a man. But times have changed and nowadays, neither men nor women think who should pay on a date is no longer a big issue. Conversely, research indicates that the one who pays for the first date will affect what is going to happen next.
But if you want to be sure that you are not making an awkward move regarding this paying issue on your first date, here are some strategies for smooth transactions;
Allow Him To Take The Lead
Even if he fully intends to pay, no guy wants to feel like a woman is taking it for granted. Heading for your purse when the bill comes shows him that you’re willing to front your share. Plus, he loves when he gets to nobly decline your offer – let him have that moment. Many men feel accomplished when they are given the opportunity to provide, especially on a first date. Even if he doesn’t make much money, he will offer to pay to impress you if he really likes you.
Don’t Falter To Offer Your Share
When he springs for tickets to a comedy show, shell out for the drinks – and insist with a smile if he tries to stop you. Men notice the effort, and it shows that you are a great teammate. Besides, you are both invested your time in having a good first date.
Offer Alternatives To Expensive Suggestions
I’ve always appreciated when I’ve suggested a fancy date and the woman responds, “No, that’s too much”. Why don’t we go for a picnic instead?” This shows that money isn’t the way to your heart, and you can have as much fun sharing an ice cream and a walk in the park as you can a three-course candlelit dinner.
Don’t Let Resentment Set In
In general, the higher earner will tend to pick up the check more often. And that’s okay. Romance isn’t about equal financial contribution, it’s about equal effort. Just make sure that you both pitch in whatever you can and the person most often footing the bill feels appreciated. If there’s a fundamental difference in your money views, talk it out early so it doesn’t build bitterness later.
Nevertheless, if you feel that you’re not into him, that you think the relationship has no future and you are so sure about yourself that you don’t want to see this guy again, insisting to pay half of the bill may help you signal the guy that you are not open to it. But always remember, you don’t owe him anything. If he wants to pay, just let him. It’s part of the dating game.